Love Hina: The Next Generation
by Bluezone777
Summary: The misadventures of a perverted captain and his wacky crew. Warning also extremely evil, funny, and perverted you have been warned! please R and R Chapter five up
1. the introduction

Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Star Trek

Love Hina: The Next Generation the introduction

Space. . .

The final frontier

These are the voyages of the star ship Hinata Sou

My continuing mission

To explore strange new worlds

To seek out new life

And new civilizations

And to get laid (what else is the captain supposed to do on this ship)

featuring. . .

Captain Keitaro Urashima (1st in command)

He is the captain of this ship. He has no class, is a total perv and a complete idiot. He only got his job because his grandmother is an admiral and everyone kisses her ass by letting her idiotic grandson run a ship. He romances most of the women he meets on many of the planets he travels to and gets his crew into a lot of trouble for it. His captain's chair doesn't come with a seatbelt and is always goes flying towards the viewer screen when the ship makes a stop. Since he is an idiot, he hasn't figured out that little fact yet.

Commander Naru Narusewega (2nd in command )

She was assigned to this ship by starfleet command to basically keep Captain Urashima and his crazy crew out of their hair. She is the brains and sanity of this outfit and the only one who see how screwed up things are. She is the voice of reason aboard this ship that's if anyone would listen to her.

Lt. Commander Seta Noriyesu (3rd in command and science officer)

He is the science officer aboard this ship and is extremely intelligent and a hard worker aboard this ship. He has the nasty tendency to say some off color remarks and comments and that bothers most people and he is the only one to specifically request assignment to the Hinata Sou. He is a good and trusted friend of the captain.

Lt. Commander Motoko Aoyama (ship security)

Motoko is a quiet reserved person who works diligently at all of her tasks. She is know for her almost superhuman strength and endurance. She is a hard worker and a valued asset aboard this ship. No one else wants her on their ship because of her use of sometimes excessive force when dealing with unruly people and don't even ask me to mention what happens when you make a mistake in her department. She doesn't take jokes really well and can't stand the captain but tolerates his presence because of her rank.

Lt. Kaolla Su (ship engineer)

She has boundless energy and is the best when it comes to taking care of the ship engines among other things. She was born blind but wears a visor that allows her to see things the others aren't capable of seeing. She doesn't use her crew for too much since she can handle most everything her self. It is the only way that she can get tired enough to sleep. She spends her free time making various inventions which always get in the way of completing their missions and not to mention causing havoc. This is the reason why this ship is the only one who would allow her aboard.

Shinobu Maehara (ship cook)

She cooks the meals for the ships crew. She is a nice quiet girl and is a pleasure to be around just don't insult her or her cooking. The hidden truth is that most everyone hates her cooking. The only exceptions are Keitaro, Su, and Mutsumi. They only say it is good because of her inability to take rejection well. The last person who openly disliked her cooking got quite a experience to say the least. No one knows what happened but that person got thrown out of the mess hall bent into the shape of a pretzel(extremely painful). Do I have to tell you why this ship was the only one to take her aboard?

Haruka Urashima (ship counselor)

She was hired by the captain as ship counselor and can read people's minds or that's the way it seems with her. She is good at what she does best but no one else wanted her aboard their ship because the thought of having someone know everything you were thinking was disturbing to say the least. By the way, she despises liars and will make sure you will regret telling a single lie to her. Not to mention, don't have any thoughts that will piss her off or you will be dealt some serious pain.

Dr. Mutsumi Otohime (ship doctor)

Mutsumi Otohime is the ship doctor for the Hinata Sou and a good one at that but a total air head who constantly forgets things, important things like to remember to put the heart back in before sewing up the patient(she got sued for that). She sometimes makes some stupid mistakes but since no one else wanted to serve aboard this ship she got the job. She is a good friend of Keitaro's but not "that" way. That is probably the only reason why she hasn't got fired for her gross incompetence.

Tama the turtle (Kaolla Su's pet)

This turtle is a good friend of Su and is known to cause some mischief from time to time. She is good natured but a little troublemaker who can cause some havoc from time to time. Like when Tama unbuckled Naru's seatbelt just before stopping and Kanako watched as she went flying towards the viewer screen(painful). Kanako couldn't stop laughing for quite some time.

Kanako Urashima (aide to Dr. Otohime)

A well qualified nurse to say the least. In fact, she knows more than the doctor does. The voice of reason and sanity in this department, she takes care of everyone in this ship. She can't stand Commander Narusewega or the queen bitch ( her little pet name for her) and just barely tolerates her presence.

Kuro the Cat (Kanako's pet)

Kuro is a friend of Kanako and is always does whatever Kanako wants her friend to do. They often team up in creating mischief and misery for the queen bitch.

Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno (ship bar keep)

she works at ten forward as bar keep and sometimes gives the captain good advice. Almost always drinking sake even when she is supposed to be working. She is quite smart if you can find her in one of those moments when she isn't drunk.

Ensigns Haitani and Shirai

They do all of the hard dirty work on each away mission and are always getting hurt by something or somebody.

Author Notes: This is the introduction to my latest story Love Hina: The Next Generation. I am a fan of Star trek as well and I thought what a funny story it would be if Love Hina was a bit like Star Trek The Next Generation. Star Trek plot lines mixed with Love Hina style humor and you got one heck of a story. This is just the introduction of the characters in this story and the parody of the beginning of each episode. Keitaro is speaking those lines in case you were wondering.


	2. Commander Narusewega meets the crew amon...

Reviewer Reply notes:

Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Star Trek TNG

to Innortal don't worry about that! There will be plenty of nameless ensigns getting killed in this story. It wouldn't be star trek without that.

To all those who gave positive reviews without questions or suggestions I am happy you like this.

TO JWM I wasn't sure if anyone would like it so that is why I posted just an intro to the characters so I can test the water so to speak instead of writing a story no one likes.

To ksim3000 I totally forgot about Q. I will most likely try to insert him in this story somewhere. The borg will also be in here somewhere. I don't know much about the Cardassians or those "five lights" so I would need to know more before I could use that in this.

I am trying to avoid getting predictable and being predictable isn't good. For example Naru is the voice of reason. Why you ask? Because the voice of reason is the one being tormented by the insanity that surrounds that person. Shinobu can't cook? If she could cook a delicious meal would that be funny? No but if she couldn't cook but became for the lack of a better word psychotic it would be a whole lot funnier. .

Love Hina: The Next Generation

Chapter 2

Naru Meets the Crew

**In the admiral's office**

"Ok, next on our list is our meeting with Commander Narusewega. A knock is heard on the door."

"Come in."

"Please, sit down. You are being charged with assaulting a senior officer."

"But sir, he was being a pervert."

"Do you have proof of this? You know physical evidence like witnesses and video or audio tapes."

"No, but. . ."

"No buts if you don't have any evidence then I am going to court martial you but since I am feeling generous today. I am going to let you off the hook but there is one catch."

"What catch?"

"You are going to have to serve as commander aboard the Hinata Sou which is being run by Captain Keitaro Urashima."

"No way, sir. I won't do it."

"You do know that assaulting a senior officer doesn't exactly win you any medals here and especially any friends here either."

"Well, your choices are clear. You serve as commander of the Hinata Sou or you go to prison and probably become someone's bitch. It is all up to you now."

_That man, Captain Urashima is nothing but a pervert but I will be better off then being surrounded by stone walls and criminals and who knows maybe all of the rumors are false._

"Ok, I accept your offer."

"Now, I don't want to hear any complaints about him and his shipmates so keep him occupied with his missions."

"Please come_ down to the christening ceremony and come see your new ship. You are dismissed." She leaves the room and heads to the hanger bay for the christening ceremony._

"Hey, she is actually going to take that shitty job, what a sucker!"

"Great, and now we can get some peace and quiet for once."

**Meanwhile,**

"Captain's log star date uh star date uh. . ."

_I got such a fucking hangover! I guess I shouldn't have drank all that sake. I don't remember a thing. Last thing I remember, I was in the bar drinking some sake and the next thing I wake up in a bed with a beautiful, naked girl. I don't know what happened but I did something right. Too bad I can't remember it at all._

"I don't remember what the star date is. Hey, does anyone know the star date? Anyone at all?"

"Why don't you try using a calender, you stupid idiot?"

"And why don't you take your head and shove it up your ass?"

"The nerve of some people. . . no respect at all. Now what was I doing before I got interrupted by that asshole. Oh yeah, I was writing in my Captain's log about today's upcoming events."

"Today is the christening ceremony of the USS Hinata Sou D and I can hardly wait. The ceremony is taking place at ten AM. Hey, what time is it by the way?" _He looks at his watch._

"Oh shit. It is 10:00 am now and I am not even ready at all! I better put something on and hurry." _I am so going to be late!_

**A half hour later. . .**

_They were in the hanger bay when the new ship sat. All of the future crew of the ship were there and it was a welcome sight seeing their new ship after taking so long to build, it was finally finished._

"Hey where is that guy?"

"Who?"

"You know, Captain Urashima. He is supposed to be here at 10:00 and it is 10:30."

"Hey, here he is now."

_Captain Urashima walked on the catwalk and went up to the nose of his new ship._

"If you will do the honors and christen your new ship. The crew gathered around the new captain as he was about to break the bottle over the ship to christen his new ship. With this cheap bottle of crappy sake. . ."

"Hey aren't you supposed to use a expensive bottle of good sake? Narusewega interrupted the captain."

"What are you, fucking mad? Kitsune would be pissed if I used one of her good bottles of sake and besides I can get rid of this shitty crap I bought when they didn't have the good stuff."

"I will now commence with the christening. He takes the bottle and slams it into the ship but nothing happens."

_Hmm. Why didn't it break? Lets try this again. He does it again but nothing happens. damn it! It isn't working. Ok, this time I am really going to hit it. He takes the bottle and swings it back far to really give it a good hit but instead smacks it into somebody's face. _

_An ensign gets smacked in the face and falls off the catwalk and starts to scream as he falls._

_Keitaro cups his hand to his ear to listen to the thud of the guy landing on the ground. _

"Hey, you just killed that guy, what is your fucking problem?"

"Hey, he shouldn't have been standing there." _Narusewega was about to punch him for that when she got interrupted._

"I am all right. Just a few broken bones, uh I think my skull is cracked, uh internal bleeding, and I am in a lot of pain and I think my spleen just ruptured but other then that, I am perfectly fine.."

"Do you require medical assistance?" _Keitaro yells to the man._

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea."

"Are you fucking stupid or what? He just fell god knows how many stories and you ask that?"

"He better be dead soon."

"And why the hell would that be a good thing, Keitaro?"

"I don't have medical insurance just death and dismemberment. I can't afford another accident. They cancelled my worker's health insurance for excessive accident claims."

_Am I going to have to put up with this gross incompetence? This day just plain sucks._

_Ok, I am going to try this again. He swings the bottle two more times but continues to have the same problem. Ok, I have had it with this bottle. He really, really, swings the bottle back but this time it breaks when he smacks it into Narusewega's face._

_He looks at the broken bottle and turns to where Narusewega is standing. She is covered in sake and looking mighty pissed not to mention he just ruined her formal uniform.. _

"Oops, uh sorry." _She wound her fist and smashed him in the face and he went flying face first into his ship leaving an imprint of his face in the hull of the ship. _

"Well, it is not exactly what I had in mind but it will work."

_The captain assembled the crew aboard the ship and they started to introduce the new commander to the crew._

"Ok, this is our new commander. Her name is Commander Naru Narusewega. My name is Captain Keitaro Urashima."

"This here is Lt Commander Seta Noriyesu, science officer." _He just looked at her for a moment_.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I am just undressing you with my eyes oh was there something you wanted to say to me?"

_Oh joy, I found another pervert, yay._

"And this girl is Lt. Commander Motoko Aoyama ship security"

_Naru stretches out her hand for a handshake and accidentally grazes her chest. _

_She pulls out her sword and sends a ki blast her way and she goes flying towards the viewer screen. She then walks over to the commander. _"Touch me like that again and I'll kill you." _She then gives her the sign language symbol for I am watching you and then walks back to her post._

_What a bitch. This is shaping up nicely. My crew consists of two perverts and a bitch so far._

"Next we have. . ."

_A short blond girl jumps up and tackles Narusewega to the ground. _

"Hello, my name is Lt. Kaolla Su, ship engineer. Wow, you have such a huge chest and oh yeah, a nice ass too."

"Get the fuck off me you sick fuck. Oh great another sick demented pervert." _Oh my day is just getting better and better. Narusewega sends her flying but she lands on her two feet_.

"Su, what did I just say about that?"

"I know Captain, no seducing the commander until tomorrow."

"That's right besides there will be plenty of time for that."

"Yay." _Su screamed_

_Oh, I am so starting to regret that decision right now._

"And here we have Shinobu Maehara. She cooks all of the meals for the Hinata Sou's crew."

"Hello Commander Narusewega. I wish you the best of luck on your new assignment as our commander."

_She seems so nice and polite. Based on what I have seen so far, there is something wrong with this picture._

"Next we have our ship counselor Haruka Urashima."

_She looks like a total asshole and a bitch too._

_She walks over to Narusewega and starts unleashing a fury of punches and kicks._

"What the fuck was that for?"

"So you think I am a total asshole and a bitch well you are going to see a lot of that if you keep that shit up for long."

"How in the hell did she know that? I didn't say anything. Oh great a person who reads minds."

"Next we have our ship doctor Mutsumi Otohime and her little sidekick tama the turtle."

"Hello Commander Narusewega. I am the ship doctor aboard the Hinata Sou and a good friend of the Captain."

_Suddenly, Tama moved closer to Commander Narusewega and had that glint in her eye. You know, that glint you see before someone does something wrong. He then ripped open Narusewega's shirt and exposed what was underneath to the entire senior staff. Unfortunately, Naru decided against wearing anything underneath so there was nothing left to the imagination._

"Keitaro, Seta and Su stared deeply at her now exposed chest and exclaimed "Nice!"

_She quickly grabbed her shirt and started buttoning it up quickly._

"Good job, Tama." _That voice came from the Otohime's assistant Kanako. _

_Tama has a keen sense of a person's personality and she would only do that to someone who deserved it and you probably did something wrong today._

_She was being followed by Kuro who moved itself closer to Naru._

"What a cute cat, she said to herself as she attempted to pet the cat."

_When Naru made contact with Kuro's fur it jumped up on Naru and started scratching the hell out of her._

"What the fuck? Get off ow you mother fucking cat! She threw the cat which Kanako caught."

"Kuro obviously doesn't like you and neither do I . I saw what you did to Keitaro. You embarrassed him in front of star fleet command and his fellow officers. I will never forgive you for that!"

_Oh great my crew is nothing more then a group of perverts and assholes and I thought this would be better then prison. I have the feeling that I am going to have a hard time adapting to working with such insane fucked up people. I am so screwed!_

Author Notes: if you didn't guess it already Su swings both ways if you know what you mean an is just as perverted as Keitaro. Tama and Kuro are going to give Naru lots of hell and so will Kanako. If you always wanted to see Naru getting tormented on a daily basis then this is the story for you. Please read and review.


	3. Planning for a Mission Among Other Thing...

**Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Star Trek or anything else that is mentioned here**

**Love Hina: The Next Generation**

**Chapter 3**

**Planning for a Mission Among Other Things**

_Words in Italics are thoughts or descriptions_

(words surrounded by ( ) are a translation of what Tama or Kuro is saying)

Everything else is spoken words

Captain's log star date top secret _good cover so no one would figure out that I can't tell one day from the next._

_I am going to go down to ten forward for a few drinks before work. _

Hello Kitsune, give me the usual. So how was your night, Kitsune?

I don't know, Keitaro.

What do you mean, Kitsune?

Well, I woke up this morning totally naked with my clothes thrown all over the ground and I was all alone. I wonder what I did last night. So, how was your night, Keitaro.

Well, I woke up this morning totally naked in a bed with a beautiful woman. I was so hung over I couldn't tell who she was but she had all of the usual qualities that I look for in a woman. You know, huge chest, nice ass, and a hot body to go with it all.

You don't think we had sex with each other last night. Hmm, nah it couldn't be me, right.

I don't think so but I guess we will really never know for sure.

Well, thanks for the drinks and I will see you later.

Yeah, bye now.

Commander's log star date who gives a fuck I am too pissed right now to worry about the date.

I am used to living aboard a star ship and this is no different well almost. My day used to be simple and predictable but here that just isn't possible.

First, waking up in the morning is an adventure aboard this ship. You always know that you are alone when I go to sleep but you never quite know who you are going to wake up with.

_I was sleeping when I felt something rubbing against my body._

What are these things that are touching me? _I turned on a light and what I found wasn't exactly the kind of thing that you want to wake up to._

_It seems Lt. Su decided to let her self in and decided to explore Naru's body with her hands._

Hmm you are so incredibly sexy. Such nice large breasts and I like the feel of your ass.

You fucking perverts! Get your damn hands off of me damn it! _Naru knocked her off and she ran out the door laughing as she ran away._

I can't believe it. I can't even be in my room without some pervert feeling me up. Of course, she isn't the only one that tried that. The captain did the same thing and I knocked him clear across the hall. These people are so perverted. It makes me sick thinking about it. I would have just locked the door but it seems that perverted engineer has all the access codes so locking the door is pointless.

Then there was the issue of taking a bath. It seems that somehow that man got an artificial hot spring installed and it sounded good to me. Of course, for every good thing you get comes with a catch. It seems that man hasn't grasped the concept of men taking baths separately from women and the women here aren't helping him with that either. No one has a problem with it except for one person.

Motoko, our chief of security, made an agreement when she came to this ship. She would work aboard this ship and would ignore all of the acts of perversion if they will leave her alone and they agreed to that.

When she takes a bath there is a letter M posted on the door. They didn't tell me this until I found out what happens when you walk in with that letter posted to the door.

_I opened the door and walked in the door ready to take a bath. I disrobed and stepped in the warm water. _

It feels so good to take a bath in peace.

_Motoko hearing voices went over to see who had broken that rule._

_When she saw Naru in the bath, she pulled out her sword and chased her all over the ship._

I ended up running through the whole ship bareassed and with the perverts aboard this ship that just made my life worst.

She eventually caught me and beat the shit out of me and that called for a trip to the doctor's office.

That was another adventure that I learned to hate. It seems this doctor if you can call her that just isn't only a complete air head which is bad enough. She is a lesbian who thinks I am "cute" and that just makes me mad knowing that everywhere I go, I get followed by that girl who won't grasp the concept that I am not her type. Then there was her assistant Kanako. She on the other hand knows what she is doing in her profession but like everything else there is a catch. She hates me and sees to it that she tortures me every time we meet.

Ok, queen bitch oh I mean Commander Narusewega, we are going to give you a physical. First I will check your weight. She puts Naru on a scale.

Hmm 150. So you are packing on the pounds, aren't you_. She then looks at her ass. _I see where it is all going too.

Hey!

Oh shut up, you whinny bitch!

Next we are going to give you your immunizations.

_She pulls out a needle and begins searching for a vein and pokes her with a needle._

Ow!

Whoops, missed it.

_She continues for four or five times before she realized something. _

Oops I forgot to put in the immunization medicine.

_She pokes her for the sixth time and injects her with the medication._

Your torture session oh I mean exam is finished.

You know Kanako, your bedside manner sucks.

I have you know that there is nothing wrong with my bedside manner. I just despise you. _Naru gives her a look of confusion as she walks out of the doctor's office._

I thought that this was better then prison. Ha, I feel like a complete jackass thinking that I was getting a good deal. I just had to hit the captain on my last ship. I had one pervert on that ship and I had to attack him. Now, I have a ship full of perverts and there lies my next problem.

It so seems that attacking the captain for an act of perversion earns me a beating from Motoko. She feels that attacking a superior officer requires a beating even though he is a pervert. Everyone else gets be a pervert and nothing happens. If I make one innocent mistake, she beats the shit out of me for it.

Oh yes even eating a meal aboard this ship is an adventure. The cook, if you can call her that, can't cook a decent meal if her life depended on it. Of course, this sweet innocent girl had something of a dark side. I didn't know that she became a psychopath when she was informed that her cooking sucks.

So, how is your meal today_. Shinobu asked everyone who was eating._

It is the best meal I ever tasted they all said. _I had a different opinion._

This food sucks!

WHO SAID THAT? _She yelled to the crowd._

_They all moved aside and pointed a finger at me. _She gave me a look that I didn't like and then before I knew it she somehow bent my body into the shape of a pretzel and flung me out the door.

Damn, what a psychopathic bitch she is. Damn, all I said is that her food sucks and she kicks my ass for it.

_Kanako walks by and notices Naru lying on the floor._

You should know better then insult Shinobu's cooking. What a stupid ass.

Then Haruka passes by and notices Naru lying on the floor in the famed pretzel position.

I said to be an honest person not a complete jackass. Even I lie to her about her cooking.

_Naru noticed that it seemed that no one gave a damn there was a person lying on the ground in an extremely painful position._

That is what a typical day aboard this star ship is like and I better report to my post before one of those perverts starts looking for me and does something perverted . . . again.

_I walked onto the bridge of the ship._ What is our mission?

Our mission is to go to and investigate Uranus.

Don't mind if I do. _The captain who was looking for any excuse to do something perverted walks over to the commander._

You perverted bastard. She means the planet, you sick idiot. _I punched that pervert and sent him flying toward the viewer screen and of course Motoko sent me flying as well._

We are preparing for war games with the USS Excalibur, commander.

_Naru knew exactly who was captain of that ship. It was run by Captain Kentaro Sakata. He was the perverted bastard that cost her position aboard that ship and she almost lost her job and her freedom because of him and she wanted revenge. It was then that they finally found something in common with each other. _

_They both despised Kentaro._

That bastard cheated the last time we had war games with them. He made a mockery out of my ship and this isn't going to happen again.

I agree, so Keitaro what is our plan?

Well, I always say if you can't beat them fair and square then break the rules as long as you can without getting caught. That is what my idol always said.

And who is that if I may ask?

Well before I became Captain of this ship, I was working on the USS Enterprise D run by Captain Picard.

No fucking way. How in the hell did you get a job on that ship. That ship is almost impossible to get a job on.

He taught me everything I know.

**Flashback**

Well I always say if you can't win fair and square then you keep cheating as long as you can without getting caught. If your commander is a man then make him your bitch like I did.

**Captain's flashback**

Damn replicator is broken again and I want some tea. Earl grey tea hot_. He says into the intercom._

Here you go, Captain. _His second in command says as he hands him a cup of tea._

Thanks bitch er I mean number one.

_He just gives a WTF look and walks out the door._

**End Captain's flashback**

Never ever punch a woman in the face no matter how much a bitch they maybe. If they get to be too bitchy then a good slap on the ass always keeps them in line. It always shuts them up when they go on one of their long-winded tirades and believe me I heard plenty of them.

**Captains flashback**

_The counselor was giving one of her long never-ending speeches and he was getting sick of it._

You shouldn't be having sex with your crew mates and with other women that you are working with and blah blah blah don't you have any morals blah blah blah . . . _That was what the counselor was trying to say to him but he really didn't want to hear it. _

_Oh God! Will this girl ever shut up?_

_She gets up and starts to walk to the door continuing her tirade._

_He gives her a good slap on the ass and shuts up immediately and slaps him on the face and tells him that she is leaving now and doesn't want him to follow._

Thank God! She shut her trap finally. This whole butt slapping thing really works. Who knew all it took was one slap on the ass to shut up a bitchy woman. I have been suffering from this problem for so long and who knew it took so little to shut them up.

**End captain's flashback and end flashback**

That man was one hell of a guy.

Now I know where he gets his ideas from. Who knew he was a such an asshole too.

Yeah, he said that it is best to keep that a secret from everyone else and besides the best captains allow only people to work on their ships who don't blab the truth to starfleet command. But this one guy starting blabbing and he suddenly disappeared and no one knows where that guy went after he starting spitting out the truth to starfleet. I on the other hand believe the same thing to be true too so no blabbing to starfleet about anything you see going on my ship but my methods are slightly different.

And how are they different if I may ask?

I tell my crew if you blab about any illegal act occurring on this ship, you will get to listen to the most annoying sound in the universe for twelve hours. _He demonstrates the noise to her._

For god's sake, stop the fucking noise. Oh my God, for all that is sacred and holy, stop making that fucking sound.

Hey, since Captain Sakata is a real asshole I wouldn't mind cheating this one time, I guess.

I am glad you agree with me on that.

So, when do we arrive at the agreed upon spot.

We should be there in a couple of hours. So in the meantime, we will begin formulating our strategy.

Where are you having the meeting, Captain?

I have all my meetings in my favorite spot

And that is?

The hot springs of course.

_I should have known that this was coming. It is the perfect place for them to pull their perverted antics. This should be very interesting to see how they act when doing actual work._

**In the hot springs**

_Naru is walking to the hot springs and walking to the hot springs from the opposite direction is Motoko. Unbeknown to Naru she is being followed by Tama and Kuro._

Meow. ( Hey you want to see something funny?)

Muyah (What do you have in mind?)

Meow. ( We position ourselves in front of Naru's feet when she is close to Motoko and make her trip and fall on top of Motoko which if all goes according to plan, she should end up ripping off Motoko's shirt.)

Muyah. ( So Motoko will chase that silly girl and then beat the shit out of her while we watch. Sounds like fun to me.)

_They initiate their plan and get in the way of Naru who ends up flying forward._

_Motoko gets right in the way of Naru's flailing hands and arms and she rips off Motoko's shirt which prompts Motoko to pull out her sword and chase Naru all over the ship._

_She catches her and gives her the beating of a lifetime._

That is what you get for being a pervert. I guess you are a little thick headed. I am more then willing to repeat my lessons if you so desire to have them repeated until you either learn them or I kill you. It doesn't matter to me which happens first.

_Everyone had assembled in the hot springs and with the exception of Naru and Motoko everyone else had decided to take a bath and was completely nude even Captain Keitaro Urashima. One thing that would have bothered most people is that no one seemed to care that a man was bathing with a bunch of women._

So Captain what are we going to do now?

Su, we are going to do your favorite thing?

Have sex with you?

No we are going to do that after we kick Kentaro's ass.

Isn't she a little young for you, you sicko?

Actually she is much older then she appears. The molmolians age quite differently from you and me.

I look like this to seduce Keitaro into bed.

You haven't failed yet.

_They both start laughing at that thought and Naru just sighs at the way they are both acting_.

_What a bunch of perverts. Those two are made for each other._

Your second favorite thing to do, Su?

Feel up Naru for cheap thrills!

Hey, that isn't very funny!

You can do that later but I am thinking of something else at the moment and by the way, I like to see how you are going to pull that off.

I do it like this. _She walks up to Naru and pulls her shirt off exposing everything to everyone_.

I didn't mean it like that but hey Naru nice chest. Can I see your ass too?

You absolutely cannot you stupid pervert. _She covers herself with her shirt and sends Keitaro on a one way trip to the back wall which prompts Motoko to punish Naru for her transgressions._

No your third favorite thing that you like to do?

Make an ass out of the people who piss us off?

Yes, that's right.

Yay! We are gonna have so much fun!

This isn't a game, Lt. Su. This is serious business. We need to win this battle or we won't be able to restore our credibility as an efficient intelligent crew and that is what we want.

Naru, what are you saying? Stop using those confusing words.

What Naru is trying to say is that we need to show that we can kick ass and take names and we can be good enough to go on missions that are gonna to be fun and rewarding.

Oh, now I understand. Thanks, Captain.

And she is our engineer and can't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

Nobody understands the words that are coming out of your mouth, Naru.

Hey, well it isn't my fault I am working with a bunch of morons and perverts.

Insulting the captain is an unforgivable offense. It seems that you require more painful remainders on why you do not insult our captain or our crew which I am a part of by the way.

_Those words came out of the mouth of Lt. Commander Aoyama who is now brandishing a sharp sword and is really pissed. Anyone can tell you that this is a dangerous combination and Naru is about to find out once again why insulting the captain is not in your best interest._

_She sent Naru flying with one of her famed ki attacks and she slammed into the back wall which by the way is made out of a strong metal which is quite painful to get slammed into. She came to the meeting but refuses to bathe with anyone and keeps to herself in case you were wondering why she would be in the bath with Keitaro and the others if she was so unwilling to bathe with the rest of the crew._

My plan is to use Su's latest invention. This invention will allow us to board a ship that has its shields on and then we will sabotage the ship's critical functions like engines, weapons, shields and then will escape and fire everything we got on it and we should definitely win this time.

Does this invention follow any of starfleet's regulations?

HELL NO! They don't want anything that would give us an edge and I say fuck that. I want to have whatever edge I can get on the enemy. I say if dirty underhanded tactics save the day then so be it.

Ok we should have arrived at the predetermined destination. Now we wait for our opponent to show up and then our plan can begin.

**End of Chapter three**

**Author Notes:** I mention Keitaro making the most annoying sound in the universe I was thinking of the movie Dumb And Dumber when those two guys told that criminal what was the most annoying sound in the world. Next chapter will show the war games between the Hinata Sou and the Excalibur and that should be funny too. Please read and review as I would like to hear from all of you and you can give input into my story and if I like the idea I will use it and give credit to every came up with said idea. I thought that I would add in a little humorous section featuring the cast of Star Trek TNG into this story to spice things up a bit and to explain Keitaro's background a bit. One more thing, just because you don't have any ideas doesn't mean you don't need to review my stories. Just saying you like the story is good too. Add me to your author alert list and favorite list because I write a lot so you don't want to miss anything. Below this is all of the humor stories I have written so far

If you haven't read these yet. I strongly recommend that you do just that if you are looking for some gut busting laugh out loud humor which these all are.

The Dinner Party Confession

What's the worst that can happen

Coming out of the Closet

Love Hina The real story

A birthday to Remember

Oh yeah the following submissions are parodies of songs that I have written

Perverted Idiot parody of American Idiot Green Day

Is Keitaro a pervert or isn't he? Well that's enough to argue.

Try singing this one with a straight face. I can't but can you?

Perverted Boy parody of Sk8ter boi Avril Lavigne

A girl (Shinobu) sings about her love (Keitaro) and the girl that came before (Naru)

not my best one but this one wasn't easy to do either.

Hinata Sou parody of Vertigo U2

If I was in charge of writing a theme song to Love Hina this would be it.

Promise of 1985 parody of 1985 bowling for soup

In the spring special when Keitaro thinks he failed his exams for the fourth time walks away from it all and thinks back on his whole crazy life in this song.

If you don't have the cd you can go to the rollingstone website and search for the song that you video you want and can hear the song while singing my version. You won't find Vertigo though so if you are going to need that cd for that song.


	4. War Games

Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Star Trek or anything else mentioned in this story

Author Notes:

This story is more like a parody of Love Hina and Star trek and will feature a lot of familiar characters from different shows will make a cameo appearance and pop culture references as well.

Words in Italics are thoughts and descriptions

Everything in regular type is spoken words

**Love Hina: The Next Generation**

**Chapter 4**

**War Games**

_Wow. I cannot believe it, no perverts in my bed or in my room. _

_Well, I guess I will have a bowl of Trix cereal before starting my day._

_She picks up the box of cereal and before she can open the box a large white rabbit barges into the room and rips the cereal box right out of Naru's hands._

_He points a finger at her._

NO!

Stupid girl. Trix is for kids, bitch.

_She runs after the white rabbit and as she runs after the rabbit, Motoko is walking past Naru's room._

_She runs into her and Naru's hands touch Motoko's chest and that pissed her off._

You stupid perverted moron. When will you ever learn to stop your perverted antics?

But that white rabbit stole my cereal.

I did not see anything but this lying perverted girl who is delusional as well.

_Just before Motoko pulled her sword to dispense justice, Naru saw the white rabbit gave her the finger before running off._

_She pulled out her sword and dispensed Motoko style justice and then walked to wherever she was going._

_Will I ever get a day without being felt up by perverts or beat up for accidents that I didn't start?_

_Su walked toward Naru and was whistling as if she was trying to look innocent. She went up to Naru and ripped off her shirt and starting to laugh as she ran away. _

_She wasn't wearing anything underneath and one would wonder why she hadn't thought of that after so many of their perverted antics that they have pulled on her._

Betcha can't catch me ha ha ha ha!

You damn pervert, give me back my shirt! _She started to run throughout the ship topless and unbeknown to Naru, Su was leading her to transporter room B where they were about to start the plan._

**In transporter room B**

_Naru ran after Su who went into Transporter room B._

Ah ha! I got you now. _She ran into Transporter room B and what she found was not what she expected._

_Captain Urashima and some of his crew were inside getting ready for their mission and then they saw a topless Naru barge into the room to catch Su._

Oh Hello Naru. I like your style. There is nothing like seeing your large bare chest to start the day right. I don't know what your problem is with me seeing your ass though.

You bastard. _She punched the captain and sent him flying. Fortunately for her, Motoko wasn't around so she didn't get hit for it like most other times._

Hey Naru, you can have your shirt back now.

_Su hands Naru her shirt but cops a feel before giving it to her._

_Naru knew that hitting Su was impossible due to her incredible speed but she tried to hit her again but no success._

Ok people listen up. Here is the plan of attack. The war games between the Hinata Sou and the Excalibur will start soon so me Naru, Su and ensigns Haitani and Shirai and uh what is your name again?

Ensign Jenkins, sir.

Right.

Seta and Motoko are going to stay behind and run the ship giving them the appearance that we are playing fair. The plan calls for Su to insert a computer virus into their ship's mainframe while ensigns Haitani, Shirai, and uh Jenkins stand watch.

So Keitaro what is our mission going to be? _Naru had to ask since Keitaro and she didn't seem to be needing on this mission._

Naru and I are going to do a little "shopping" since we need supplies and I spent all of our credits on sake.

You mean stealing, right?

Well, duh of course we are stealing. Do you really think they are just going to hand over stuff that they paid for?

I guess not.

We can't go back until we complete the mission but we can teleport the stuff we take without getting caught so no one better leave until the mission is complete or else.

Okay lets do it.

_Before anyone can get into the transporter, a short man barges into the transporter room carrying a gun. Naru is the first to ask who he is._

Who the fuck are you, bitch?

I'm Elmer Fudd and I am hunting rabbit. Oh by the way you are the one that is the bitch, bitch

You say that word one more time and I am going to kick your ass. Oh are you?

Well there is this one rabbit that likes to steal Trix cereal. Tell you what I am going to do. If you catch this rabbit and show me the rabbit alive so I can make it regret stealing my Trix cereal, I will forget that you snuck aboard a federation star ship which by the way is a crime and let you leave without a beating from me, okay.

I guess so. I can catch a different rabbit. I do it. Leave it to me. I catch that damn rabbit for ya.

_He leaves to catch that rabbit and everyone gets on the transporter and Keitaro gives the order._

Energize.

_Su and the three ensigns transport to a secluded spot in the Excalibur's engineering section._

Okay, you three look out and see if the coast is clear and please be quiet about taking out the enemy. We don't want them to catch on to our plan.

Yes, ma'am.

_They search the engineering deck for any of Kentaro's men and dispatch them quickly and return to where Su was waiting._

Did you get all of them taken care of?

Yes, ma'am.

_Of course, they were a little sloppy and missed one who followed them back to where Su was hiding._

You bastard, I am going to get you now._ He fired a phaser at Su but she threw one of the ensigns in the way of the phaser blast and it killed him._

_Haitani fired his phaser and knocked him out with it._

Is everyone all right?

We are all fine but ensign "what's his name" is dead.

Oh well, no harm done. Now lets start uploading this here computer virus and then we can win this game.

Meanwhile. . . .

_Keitaro and Naru transported to a secluded part of the ship to begin "shopping" for supplies._

_Naru felt a chill run down her spine and then noticed something was missing._

WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES!

_Hey quiet down. By the way, I like your plan. Run around completely naked to distract everyone while I get the supplies_

That isn't my idea, you pervert. _The thought that he was staring at her started to bother her._ Do you mind?

No, not at all. I guess it must have been a transporter accident. We have them from time to time. You shouldn't bitch too much though.

And why the hell not?

Well, there was this one time when a guy and a girl used the transporter and their uh you know switched places.

You're kidding, right.

Nope. They didn't find out until nature called. It must have an experience having to use different equipment.

And what happened to them?

Well, when our doctor informed them it was permanent, they committed suicide. I personally wouldn't want that happening to me.

And why wasn't I informed of this?

Well, you never asked and it never came up.

Hey, there is the storeroom where they keep all of the supplies.

**In the storeroom . . . **

Oh no. . . . this door requires a password.

Hey, let me try my old password. Kentaro wasn't one for changing passwords and was very much lazy in this regard.

She types in her password and it opens up.

Great lets go inside and start looking around at the wares.

_They go inside and find out that there is hardly anything here at all._

Damn, they must be waiting for a resupply. Well, there isn't anything here at all.

_Keitaro's communicator started to receive a transmission._

Captain, the virus has been planted. We only have a minute and a half to transport out so hurry up. Su out.

Oh well, I guess we better get going. _Damn how in the hell am I going to get supplies now._

Captain to Hinata Sou

Transporter chief here.

Two to beam up.

**Back on the Hinata Sou's bridge . . . **

Okay Captains . . . just wait five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . zero the virus should have started now.

**On the Excalibur's bridge**

Okay crew fire on the Hinata Sou now.

Sir, it says access denied

So try it again, fire away.

It says access denied again sir

fire now damn it . . .

_At that moment a message flashed cross the screen._

Ah ah ah you didn't say the magic word.

A picture of Captain Keitaro Urashima wagging his finger accompanied the message and the message repeated itself as the image smirked at him.

Damn that cheating son of a bitch he must have planted a computer virus.

Captain all systems are shutting down engines, weapons, and shields we are losing power . . .

**Back on the Hinata Sou bridge . . .**

Sir the Excalibur's weapons, shields and engines are failing . . .

Great Seta. Ok Motoko aim at all critical systems and fire everything we got.

Firing phasers and photon torpedoes, sir.

_Everything hit the ship and without engines or shields the ship was quickly crippled._

Sir computers are reporting that the ship would have been crippled if this was real combat. We won.

**Meanwhile on the bridge of the Excalibur . . .**

_They watched helplessly as the phasers and photon torpedoes struck their ship. When the computer informed them of the "crippling damage." a message then appeared on the screen._

You've just been pwned, bitch

**back on the Hinata Sou**

_Suddenly Tama flew to the captain and he was holding something._

What is that Tama?

_He picked up what tama was carrying and took a look_.

_A mile wide smile formed on his face._

_It seems that Tama snuck aboard the ship and did some "shopping" of her own._

What is that you have there, captain? _Su spoke to the captain_.

Yeah I want to know too. _Naru spoke as she was also interested in what was making him so happy_.

Oh this. This is Kentaro's wallet complete with cash and credit cards. It looks like we are going shopping tonight.

You can't use other people's credit cards in a store. You will get arrested for that.

Who said anything about going to a store when you can go online.

Hey Su, you can have this as a memento of our victory.

_Keitaro handed the wallet to Su. She started to look inside and found something peculiar inside._

Captain what is this? She showed him a picture of some people.

Hey this is a picture of Captain Sakata having sex with Admiral Samson's daughter. Boy a lot of people were speculating he was doing her but no one had any proof.

What is so special about that?

Well Admiral Samson is extremely overprotective with his daughter. The last fool to get involved with her got fired for it.

He isn't that a little extreme you know losing your job over it.

I didn't mean like getting fired as losing your job. No, I meant getting fired out of the torpedo bay.

That's one sick son of a bitch.

You can say that again._ I wonder what this picture will fetch for on Ebay. _

**meanwhile on the Excalibur . . .**

I can't believe it. I lost the battle with that idiot Keitaro and my respect of my crew. Damn it.

The Commander came into his room to talk with him.

Do you have the money for the shipment of supplies, right?

Yeah it is here in my wallet. He feels for his wallet but can't find it.

Oh no! I left my credit cards and money in that?

Don't worry! I have the Capital one Platinum no hassle card so I don't have to worry about theft and I don't have to pay a thing for any fraudulent charges. What is in your wallet?

Uh . . . something else.

YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!

_She beats the shit out of him for it._ Now we are completely screwed. Do you even know where it is?

I have the feeling that bastard Urashima stole it. Knowing him he is going to max it out and spend everything before I can even report it.

No, I didn't did I.. I left that picture in there. NO!

Mark my words Urashima. I will HAVE MY REVENGE!

**Later on the Hinata Sou**

_Naru had been waiting for quite some time but it seems that Elmer Fudd has caught that thieving rabbit and was going to finish the mission by giving it to Naru_.

I see that you have finished your mission mister uh

Elmer Fudd.

Yeah right. You can go now. Well little rabbit, I am going to teach you something about stealing my stuff.

_Now where did I put my torture kit?_

_Ah here it is! Now for the fun . . ._

_At that very moment, Motoko walked into her room and didn't like what she was seeing._

HOW DARE YOU! Hurting that poor innocent rabbit. You sick perverted monster. I guess my methods aren't painful enough for you. Don't worry for I have many lessons left to teach you.

_She attacked her with a ki attack and then let the bunny go and it went into Motoko's arms. _

_When Motoko wasn't looking, it gave Naru the finger and laughed as Motoko walked out of the room._

_I don't believe it. It happened again. How can that girl be so blind? What is she stupid or something? She can't see how much of a lowlife these people are? I am getting sick of these morons and their stupidity and acts of perversion? Especially that stuck up bitch of a woman . . . _

_Of course at that moment Haruka was passing by and thought that she was referring to her. She barges into the room with the look of evil._

How dare you think those kind of thoughts. _Naru got a beating that she will probably never forget._

**The end of Chapter four**

Author Notes: well I like to see some reviews and if you have any suggestions on what should happen next or anything that you feel can be made fun of or used in a gag like the Trix rabbit and capital one no hassle card and having Elmer Fudd pop up for a cameo was some of my ideas for humor. In your review please say that you like or not while giving me suggestions okay. Any idea that you think up and I use will be given credit for it. So click that go button and review.


	5. trip to planet Para something or other

Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Star trek or anything else mentioned here.

Love Hina: The Next Generation

Chapter five

Naru was in her room and was about to have some cereal.

"Hmm. . . frosted flakes sounds good since all of my trix cereal had vanished. That stupid rabbit. . Oh well. . ." Naru said.

She takes a spoonful of the cereal and for no reason a large tiger ran into the room.

"There GREAT!" The tiger said.

She spits the cereal out of her mouth.

"This cereal sucks!" Naru said

"There GREAT and you are going to like it." Tony the tiger said.

"I hate this sugary crap." Naru said.

"The tiger has claws and sharp teeth so you are going to eat it or else." The tiger said

"Or else what?" Naru said upset that someone or something was telling her what to do.

"I am going to attack you with my sharp teeth and claws." Tony the tiger said.

"I am not taking any of your orders you shithead and you know why?" Naru asked.

"Why?" Tony asked getting even more angry that someone didn't like his favorite cereal.

"Teeth. . . claws. . I am the one with the phaser on kill." Naru yelled getting very angry.

She fired the phaser and Tony's face wore a look of terror as it hit him and vaporized him.

"Nobody tells me what to do and lives to tell the tale. Serves you right you asshole. Now I have to report to duty hungry or I could eat some of Shinobu's "fabulous" cooking." Naru said as she left her room to report for duty but first she had to drop something off in Keitaro's room.

She walked down the corridor and passed the rooms of the senior staff. First she passed by Mutsumi's room.

"I remember when I went into the room for something. It was an experience I can do without."

FLASHBACK

She opens the door to Mutsumi's room and walks in and the door closes behind her.

"Hello Naru, come on in. You can sit down on the sofa right here." Mutsumi said.

Naru sits on the sofa but what happens next makes her regret that descision.

She walks up to Naru and begins to speak.

"I am so happy that you like to be with me. Lets show the love that I now know that we share." Mutsumi said.

She gets on top of Naru and before she can even react she begins kissing her and her hands start to travel over Naru's body mostly focusing on her breasts, ass as she tries to take her clothes off.

She pushes Mutsumi off of her and begins to get upset.

"I am not in love with you and I am NOT a lesbian so leave me alone" Naru sad before she runs out of her room before she gets a chance to do anything else.

_Oh that's what you say but I don't believe you. _Mutsumi thinks to herself.

"Damn that girl never figures it out that I don't have feelings for her in that way. She is so dense it is almost laughable." Naru said to herself.

END FLASHBACK

She shudders as the memory of that comes back. She continues to walk until she gets to Su's room.

"Oh I know now never to enter this room under any circumstances. I swear everything that girl builds is either trying to kill me or have sex with me whether I want to or not and I definitely don't want to. On the rare occasions, neither of these things happen, I know that girl will be there ready to tear off my clothes and feel me up. That damn bisexual pervert even had the gall to say that it is her favorite thing to do besides have sex with the captain who is just as bad as she is." Naru said to herself.

Naru moves on and stops when she gets to Motoko's room.

"Now this is one of the few people who isn't perverted and that is a good thing if she would only think about what she sees before reacting to it." Naru said.

FLASHBACK

She walks up to the door and opens it and walks inside.

"Motoko! Are you in here?" Naru asked hoping that she was inside her room.

Motoko had just left her room but remembered that she forgot to lock her door and went back to lock it.

She tries to lock the door but accidently opens it instead.

"Oops, I did it again. I am so forgetful." Motoko said as the door opened revealing that Naru was in her room.

"Damn it. You feel me up and now you try to steal my belongings or are you here to satisfy your perverted urges, you damn pervert." Motoko yelled getting angry at her discovery.

"Look, Motoko! It isn't what it looks like!" Naru pleaded but Motoko would hear none of it.

"And now you waste my time listening to your feeble lies. Prepare to face punishment for your crime." Motoko yelled before using a ki attack to punish Naru for her transgressions.

She flew out of her room into the hallway and slammed into the wall.

_Damn that hurt. Why wouldn't that stupid woman ever use her brain for once that stupid bitch._ Naru thought to herself.

Haruka walked by and when she heard her thoughts she thought that she was referring to her and that pissed her off. She could have listened to her side of the story but she rather punish her for any possible transgressions instead of listening to what she would call lies and half truths.

She hurled punches and kicks and kicked Naru's ass all over the deck until she was satisfied with the punishment that she gave out to Naru.

"Ow, that hurt. I am really getting tired of this crap." Naru said.

"I wouldn't hit you if you would stop being a bitch." Haruka said before leaving.

END FLASHBACK

She continued walking till she passed Kanako's room.

I never been in her room before and judging by past performance, I am guessing that only pain and torment will come to me if I ever cross that door. If hell exists, then my Satan would look just like Kanako since her everlasting joy in tormenting me never wavers.

She passes Kanako's room and keeps walking to Keitaro's room. She opens the door and what she finds inside is quite shocking to her at least.

"What the hell are you doing?" Naru yells to Keitaro.

"Having sex. Hey want to join? There is always room for one more." Keitaro says.

"Is Naru going to join because I just love to have sex with her and get my hands all over her huge chest and fine ass. So come on in and take off the clothes so you can join in the fun." Su says as she is in the middle of having "fun" with Keitaro.

She would have slammed the door shut if it didn't slide on its own.

_Damn perverts. They think I came in for sex. I don't like that perverted man and what makes her think that I am a lesbian. Even if I was which I am most certainly not, I don't like that girl because she is so perverted it makes me sick._ Naru thinks to herself.

_Oh hell, will this insanity ever end? Ha for all I know I am in hell and these are my tormentors._ Naru thought to herself.

She got on a turbolift.

"Bridge." Naru said as the turbolift brought her to the bridge.

She stepped off of the turbolift and onto the bridge.

The first she notices is that Seta is NOT the one at the helm since his flying sucks. He almost got us killed the last time he piloted the starship. His reasoning over what happened makes me wonder if he doesn't have a few bolts loose.

FLASHBACK

"What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to get us killed?" Naru asked.

"What do you mean, Naru? I was just piloting our ship to complete our mission." Seta said totally oblivious to the many close calls he had with some other starships and even almost hitting a planet or two.

"What about all those ships you almost hit?" Naru said.

"They shouldn't have been there. We are on a important mission so we don't have time for things like courtesy and things like that." Seta explained.

"And what about those planets you almost hit. Don't you know that if you hit one we all die. Are you fucking insane?" Naru asked getting even more impatient with his almost looney answers to some, in her mind, simple questions.

"They shouldn't have been there either." Seta explained.

"Keitaro, what do you have to say about your officer LT. Commander Seta?" Naru asked.

"He did a good job and I just simply enjoyed the trip as he made it appear as if he was aiming for those ships. I wished I could have seen the looks on their faces as we passed by." Keitaro said.

"They probably pissed and shit their pants at the same time. This is even almost as fun as sex." Su yelled.

"Ha ha ha ha. You're right but you know that will never be fun as having sex." Keitaro and Su both laughed.

"What are you complaining about? The only thing that I am concerned with is the safety of the crew. It isn't my problem that people don't use common sense and keep a distance from us." Motoko said as if she was justifying their incompetence.

She just stood there in shock at the fact no one could see the insanity behind their actions.

END FLASHBACK

"So what is our mission, Seta?" Naru asked.

"Well Commander, our mission is to go to the planet called Para something or other and there we will act as a go between two different peoples. The Vulcans and the Klingons. They are fighting over the right to investigate the turtle civilization that is exactly on the borderline and they both claim ownership and full rights to do whatever they want with the area and the turtles. I also wanted to explore this strange place because I wanted to do some research there." Seta said.

Motoko wore a look of fear when he mentioned the most evil of words. . . turtle.

"What's wrong, Motoko? Afraid of turtles. You are such a child to be afraid of a silly thing like a. . . turtle." Naru said making fun of her when she must know that isn't good for your health.

She just walked up to Naru quietly without the least bit of anger expressed on her face.

"You know what I feel about your comment?" Motoko asked.

"No, please tell me." Naru asked.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Motoko asked.

"Yes, I'm sure I want to know." Naru said.

Motoko didn't say anything but the unsheathing of her sword and how she beat the shit out of her made up for the lack of dialogue. She ended it by hurtling Naru towards the viewer screen but a force field popped up when she was about to hit the viewer screen and bounced back towards the floor.

Naru got up wondering why a force field popped up by its self. It was at that time that Keitaro and Su had arrived after they were finished with what they were doing.

"Keitaro, I was wondering why does a force field pop up when someone goes flying towards the viewer screen." Naru asked.

"Well it is a long story but it goes something like this. . . I was ordered to go to the planet Zenia where we were to conduct talks to invite them into the federation. Of course, the leader had a very attractive daughter and one thing led to another and then. . ." Keitaro said.

Let me guess you had sex with her too. Naru interrupted.

"Yeah, how did you guess that?" Keitaro wondered how she knew that.

"Oh, it was a wild guess." _Please, that is probably the only thing he thinks about anyway_. Naru said and thought to herself.

"Well, then something bad happened." Keitaro said.

"What, she didn't satisfy you." Naru interrupted.

"You know interrupting people is not very nice and inconsiderate of others. I guess I could explain this to you but I think the sword speaks your language." Motoko who believed Naru was insulting the captain which in her eyes is a crime lashed out with a ki attack. Naru got up and Keitaro continued his story.

"She got pregnant and on that planet, you either marry the girl or the father kills you. I wasn't looking for a wife and I like to stay alive so I thought up a plan." Keitaro said.

FLASHBACK

"Keitaro, I'm. . . pregnant." The attractive girl said.

FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION

"What you don't know her name?" Naru asked.

"You know, I don't recall ever asking that. I guess the sight of her large breasts and attractive figure made me forget all those formalities." Keitaro replied.

CONTINUE FLASHBACK

"That is wonderful news." _Oh shit I'm so fucked now._ Keitaro said and thought.

"Where are you going, my love?" The girl asked.

"I'm going to my ship to inform my crew of this wonderful news." I_ am really going up there to escape before your father figures out I am only interested in sex and not serious relationships._

Keitaro activates his communicator.

"Captain Urashima to Enterprise. One to beam up."

He appears on the transporter pad and when he gets there. He immediately leaves to go to the bridge.

He runs to the Captain's chair, sits down and gives out his order.

"Get the fuck out of here. Maximum warp." Keitaro yells out as his crew prepares to leave the planet.

MEANWHILE

On the planet, the leader of the planet and the father to the girl he just ditched finds out he has ran away.

_Damn him, I will kill him if it is last thing I do. _He thinks to himself.

MEANWHILE

Back on the ship. . .

"I think we are far enough away. Ok stop engines." Keitaro commands his crew.

He went so fast that when the ship stopped he went flying towards the viewer screen. The force was so great he went through the viewer screen and into open space.

The suction caused by the lack of gravity caused inanimate objects and nameless ensigns to go flying through the hole.

Somehow, they not only retrieved the captain and alive mind you but avoided killing any important people otherwise known as senior staff.

END FLASHBACK

"Su created that force field so we won't have that problem again." Keitaro said.

"Did you have to involve your love life into every conversation?" Naru asked but was ignored.

"Ok we finally made it so lets open communications with the Klingons and the Vulcans." Keitaro said.

The Vulcans want to study the turtles and their way of life while the Klingons seem to despise them and want them exterminated. Can Keitaro and crew get these two sides to agree on anything or will he just screw everything up even more. Tune in next chapter to find out.

Chapter six

The trouble with turtles

if you watched Star Trek TOS then you know what I am referring to.

If you haven't then I am replacing the tribbles from Star Trek with Turtles. Remember that Motoko still has her fear of turtles.

The tribbles were a cute cuddly harmless creature that when they were given food would multiply endlessly. It would eat up everything and drove some people to love and cherish them and others to want them gone. The klingons almost starved to death because of them and for that reason, they despise them and can't even stand to have one even near them. The tribbles seem to love everyone but Klingons. This info is from Star Trek TOS and the episode that featured them.

A/N Oh I have put something in the profile section so there is something there besides a list of my stories. It includes how I write my stories and my belief on pairings for Love Hina. It also includes a random funny quotes section where if I hear any funny quotes or say something myself then I place them in that list.


End file.
